Stop judging others so harshly, and you’ll stop judging yourself so harshly…

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The things we did when we were younger…

We, in our twenties, made elitist jokes about “retail bankers.” People who don’t work on Wall Street don’t get the punch line. Thank goodness they don’t. Because the world doesn’t need this much presumption.

We, as teenagers, joked about certain “tomboys” at school, based on their pixie haircuts and devil-may-care attitudes. Our Danish friend’s artist mother admonished, “Girls, don’t label people so.” That was the first time we knew we had learned to judge.

We, nine years old in the back of the car, nodded apprehensively when the adults up front turned the corners of their mouths down to discuss a single mother, an unwed thirty-something female, and other disapprove-able characters. We pretended to know what these life choices meant. But inside, a little question formed: “Who decided these things are ‘wrong’?” And a fear too: “What if I grow up ‘wrong’ without meaning to?”

 

As we grew up, we carried these thoughts, labels, frameworks, expectations around with us. To far away places. To different times. To instances where they no longer made no sense (if they ever did make sense). Little by little, and then a lot by a lot, we judged everything and everyone around us. And most of all, we judged ourselves. We decided this was “good” and that was “bad,” not because we knew but because we never thought to question. Then the life cycle of judgments really took off. We derided other people’s choices, because they made us feel better, more secure, about our own.

We can go through life like this. Or we can choose to stop for a moment, think for a while, and step outside the walled garden of judgments we’ve built around ourselves. Think about it, if you stopped calling others “ugly,” might you allow yourself more ways to feel beautiful? If you stopped calling others “weak,” might you give yourself more room to fail? If you stopped calling others “poor,” might you ease the pressure of building up riches on yourself?

So, stop, think, and step outside. Who knows what may lie out there for you, in a boundless world where everything is considered “good” because nothing is considered “bad”?